Kendimi ve d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kavray\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu zaman bir ill\u00fczyonun i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7ti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Bu ill\u00fczyonu, ger\u00e7e\u011fi gizleyen bir perde olarak de\u011fil, ger\u00e7e\u011fe dokunma bi\u00e7imlerinden biri olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. O perdeyi y\u0131rtmaktan \u00e7ok, hangi ipliklerle dokundu\u011funu anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Cinsellik, a\u015fk ve sevgi de bu dokunun en yo\u011fun iplikleri gibi duruyor. \u0130nsan, bunlar arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla hem kendi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissediyor hem de o varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 unutuyor.<\/p>\n
Cinselli\u011fe y\u00fckledi\u011fimiz anlam\u0131n yaln\u0131zca \u00fcreme d\u00fcrt\u00fcs\u00fcnden ibaret olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Cinsellik, t\u00fcr\u00fcn devam\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamak i\u00e7in biyolojik olarak kodlanm\u0131\u015f olsa da zihin onu a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 anlamland\u0131rarak bu kodun \u00fczerine yeni katmanlar ekliyor. Bir ba\u015fka bedene y\u00f6neldi\u011fimizde yaln\u0131zca d\u00fcrt\u00fclerimize de\u011fil, kendi varolu\u015fumuzun yank\u0131s\u0131na da y\u00f6neliyoruz. O \u00e7ekim hissinin yaln\u0131zca \u201c\u00f6teki\u201dne de\u011fil, i\u00e7imizdeki eksikli\u011fe de dokundu\u011funu seziyorum.<\/p>\n
Bu y\u00fczden cinselli\u011fi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir ill\u00fczyon olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum: hem i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcsel hem de kutsalla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Beden bir tap\u0131na\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor; arzular, bir rit\u00fcel gibi ya\u015fan\u0131yor. Oysa bu kutsiyetin i\u00e7inde do\u011fan\u0131n oyunu da var. \u0130nsan \u201cben istiyorum\u201d dedi\u011finde bile \u00e7o\u011fu zaman do\u011fan\u0131n istemini yineliyor. Biyoloji konu\u015fuyor, insan bunu a\u015fk san\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
Bu fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fmenin ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131 olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum; yine de \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fmenin kolay olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kabul etmek gerekir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc insan kendini cinselli\u011fin i\u00e7inden de tan\u0131r. Cinsellik, varolu\u015fun en do\u011frudan hissedildi\u011fi alanlardan biridir. Bu y\u00fczden ondan kurtulmak, varolu\u015fun en \u00e7\u0131plak h\u00e2line dayanabilmeyi gerektirir. Budist d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncenin \u201cmaya\u201d dedi\u011fi ill\u00fczyon da tam burada belirir: varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ine g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f bir yan\u0131lsama. Cinsellik, bu yan\u0131lsaman\u0131n en derin bi\u00e7imlerinden biri gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr; hem en do\u011fal hem de en sahte olanlardan biridir.<\/p>\n
A\u015fk\u0131, insan\u0131n cinselli\u011fe anlam giydirme \u00e7abas\u0131 olarak d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Bedensel d\u00fcrt\u00fc, zihinsel bir y\u00fccelikle birle\u015fir; b\u00f6ylece insan, arzunun etkisi alt\u0131nda oldu\u011funu unutur. A\u015fk, do\u011fan\u0131n insan\u0131 \u00fcremeye y\u00f6nlendiren i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc romantikle\u015ftirir. Bu y\u00fczden a\u015fk hem y\u00fcksek hem k\u0131r\u0131lgand\u0131r: k\u00f6kleri topraktad\u0131r, ama g\u00f6zleri g\u00f6ktedir.<\/p>\n
Platon, a\u015fk\u0131 idealar\u0131n d\u00fcnyas\u0131na a\u00e7\u0131lan bir kap\u0131 olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Ben ise bu kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu zaman insan\u0131n kendi zihninde a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p kapand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. \u0130nsan \u201cideal\u201d bir a\u015fk ararken, kendi eksikli\u011fini de idealle\u015ftirir. Her sevgi nesnesi, i\u00e7imizdeki bo\u015flu\u011fun bir aynas\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir. Bu y\u00fczden a\u015fk, birle\u015ftirici oldu\u011fu kadar ayr\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r da. Bizi bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na yakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rken ayn\u0131 anda kendimizden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rabilir.<\/p>\n
A\u015fk\u0131, insan\u0131n kendi bilincine kar\u015f\u0131 kurdu\u011fu en zarif yan\u0131lsamalardan biri olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. O, cinselli\u011fin g\u00f6\u011fe y\u00fckselmi\u015f h\u00e2li gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr; ama temeli h\u00e2l\u00e2 topraktad\u0131r. \u0130nsan \u00e2\u015f\u0131k oldu\u011funda, do\u011fan\u0131n onu y\u00f6nlendirdi\u011fi ger\u00e7e\u011fini unutmak ister. Oysa a\u015fk, do\u011fan\u0131n en incelikli maskelerinden biri olabilir. Nietzsche\u2019nin \u201cg\u00fc\u00e7 istenci\u201d dedi\u011fi d\u00fcrt\u00fc burada da i\u015fler; fakat bu kez arzu estetik bir bi\u00e7im al\u0131r.<\/p>\n
A\u015fk\u0131n insan\u0131 y\u00fcceltti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc o, yan\u0131lsaman\u0131n en g\u00fczel bi\u00e7imlerinden biridir.<\/p>\n
A\u015fk\u0131n ge\u00e7ici, cinselli\u011fin yan\u0131lg\u0131l\u0131 do\u011fas\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6tesinde sevgi diye bir kavram oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Yine de bu kavram\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle g\u00fcvenli olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. Sevgi, insan\u0131n kendini a\u015fma arzusunu bar\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131r; fakat bu arzu da insan\u0131n kendi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamland\u0131rma \u00e7abas\u0131na ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. \u201cKo\u015fulsuz sevgi\u201d dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey, bilincin kendi s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 zorlamas\u0131d\u0131r. Tamamen bencil olmayan bir sevgiyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek bile insan do\u011fas\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan g\u00fc\u00e7t\u00fcr; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc her ba\u011flanmada bir kendini tamamlama iste\u011fi sakl\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Sevgiyi, cinselli\u011fin ve a\u015fk\u0131n \u00f6tesinde bir fark\u0131ndal\u0131k alan\u0131 olarak d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebilirim; ama onu da kutsamak istemem. Sevgi de t\u0131pk\u0131 di\u011ferleri gibi bir in\u015fa, bir anlamland\u0131rma bi\u00e7imidir. Fark\u0131 belki \u015fudur: sevgi, anlam\u0131 yaln\u0131zca kendinde aramaz. O, bir t\u00fcr sessizliktir; insan\u0131n ill\u00fczyonlar\u0131n fark\u0131na var\u0131p onlar\u0131 art\u0131k yarg\u0131lamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir bilin\u00e7 h\u00e2lidir.<\/p>\n
Belki de sevgi, yan\u0131lsamay\u0131 a\u015fman\u0131n de\u011fil, onunla bar\u0131\u015fman\u0131n ad\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\u0130nsan, a\u015fk\u0131n ve cinselli\u011fin birer yan\u0131lsama oldu\u011funu sezse bile onlara inanmaya devam eder. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu inan\u00e7, ya\u015fam\u0131n anlam\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131r. Schopenhauer\u2019in s\u00f6yledi\u011fi gibi, do\u011fa insan\u0131 kand\u0131r\u0131r; bu kand\u0131r\u0131lma da t\u00fcr\u00fcn devam\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flar. Freud, bu kand\u0131r\u0131lman\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 \u201clibido\u201d koymu\u015ftur. Nietzsche, onu g\u00fc\u00e7 istencine ba\u011flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Sartre ise a\u015fk\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcnde bir sahip olma iste\u011fi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, insan\u0131n \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fckle tutku aras\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etmi\u015ftir. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerin farkl\u0131 dillerde ayn\u0131 noktaya yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum: insan, do\u011fa taraf\u0131ndan programlanm\u0131\u015f bir varl\u0131kt\u0131r; a\u015fk ve cinsellik de bu program\u0131n en zarif kodlar\u0131 aras\u0131ndad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Budizm\u2019in \u201cmaya\u201d kavram\u0131 burada yeniden anlam kazan\u0131r: a\u015fk ve cinsellik, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kendini s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in kurdu\u011fu bir r\u00fcya gibidir. Bu r\u00fcyan\u0131n i\u00e7inde insan hem en \u00e7ok ya\u015far hem de en \u00e7ok yan\u0131l\u0131r. Ama belki de yan\u0131lmak, ya\u015fam\u0131n bedelidir.<\/p>\n
Cinsellik, a\u015fk ve sevgi; hepsi birer yan\u0131lsama, ama ayn\u0131 zamanda birer hakikat bi\u00e7imidir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc insan\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu zaman hakikate yan\u0131lsama arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla dokundu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Ger\u00e7e\u011fin \u00e7\u0131plak h\u00e2liyle ya\u015famak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez; zihin, anlam \u00fcretmeden var olamaz. Bu y\u00fczden a\u015fk da cinsellik de yaln\u0131zca biyolojik de\u011fil, ayn\u0131 zamanda ontolojik bir zorunluluk gibi belirir. \u0130nsan, kendini bu oyunla var eder.<\/p>\n
Bu oyunu reddetmekten \u00e7ok anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc anlamak, a\u015fman\u0131n ilk bi\u00e7imi olabilir. Cinsellik, insan\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya ba\u011flayan zincirdir; a\u015fk, o zinciri alt\u0131ndan bir s\u00fcsle gizler; sevgi ise zincir oldu\u011funu kabul eden bilincin sessizli\u011fidir.<\/p>\n
\u0130ll\u00fczyonun fark\u0131na varmak, onu yok etmek de\u011fil, onunla dans etmeyi \u00f6\u011frenmektir.<\/p>\n
Belki de insan\u0131n en derin bilgeli\u011fi, tam da bu dansta gizlidir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A\u015fk, Cinsellik ve Sevgi \u00dczerine Bir D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme Kendimi ve d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kavray\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu zaman bir ill\u00fczyonun i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7ti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Bu ill\u00fczyonu, ger\u00e7e\u011fi gizleyen bir perde olarak de\u011fil, ger\u00e7e\u011fe dokunma…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-felsefe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=40"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=40"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=40"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agfocert.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=40"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}